Being Yourself: The Foundation of Healthy Relationships

There are hundreds of the books and programs telling men and woman what to look for in a mate, how they should act, and who they need to become to attract the man or woman of their dreams. I am all for self-improvement in all areas of life; however, I think we should establish a strong foundation of who we are before we can begin to improve ourselves. We attempt to attract that perfect person into our lives before we are totally comfortable in your own identity. Relationships suffer over time because people go into them looking for the other party to give them the happiness and feeling of completeness they are looking for in their own lives. This is such a big mistake; this only causes us to place expectations on our partners that they can never meet. Later, leading to the resentment and mistreatment of great people in your life.  Only we have the ability to control our happiness and satisfaction. Our significant others can only compliment the feeling of completeness that we have established in our own lives. Be truly happy with who are as a person, otherwise it’s impossible for you to be satisfied with anyone you bring into your life. Embrace who you are! Your strengths, weaknesses, and even the areas of your life that you are working to improve. We have been conditioned to be perfect versions of ourselves to ensure that we “catch” the right man or woman. If we truly want someone to love us for whom we are, we must give them an opportunity to. No one is perfect and the sooner we embrace this fact the better off our relationships will be. Making a good impression is one thing; but not totally disclosing who you are is another. If people won’t accept you for the real you from the start, they won’t accept you when the real you comes out when you pack away that infamous “representative”. I’m often confused on how people seem to be so surprised that their relationships changes after they feel they are comfortable enough to be themselves around the person they have been dating. The reason being is that other person has fallen for your representative not you. Let me attempt to illustrate. I’m in the market for a new car. At the dealership there is a car with a cover on it that says Bentley. I don’t bother to look under the cover because I am in the market for a Bentley. I have the dealer deliver it to my house. I get the car home and take off the cover and it’s a Mercedes Benz. Still a nice car but not the car I had in mind when I agreed to purchase it. If given the opportunity to make a decision bases on what kind of car was really under the cover I may have chosen the Mercedes. However, because my heart was set on the Bentley I instantly resent my purchase and will eventually take the car back or get rid of it. The same is true with people. Being yourself at the start of getting to know someone gives that person the ability to make an accurate decision on if they are truly interested in you. There decision is then based on who you really are.  Not the representative or a cover that represents you in another way Just to impress. Give people the gift of the real you and start having stronger and healthier relationships.  

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