The Division


I grew up with the great privilege of coming from a rather large family. It was made up of beautiful strong couples that had beautiful children, and over 100 years of successful marriages. Family was then and still is the most important thing to us all. As a young boy my life path was fairly simple. I would get an education, a job

or become rich, buy a home, find a wife, have children, and live happily ever after. Things like divorce where only whispers at family functions at the adult table, far away from the ear shot of me and my cousins at the kids table. Men loved their wives and women adored their husbands and children. Our communities weren’t made up of the most educated folks in most cases, but they worked hard to provide a better life for their children and communities. My parents where and still are like rock stars to me. I spent hours admiring my dad as he taught me what it meant to be a man. Not just in title but in deeds. I was attached to my mother’s leg as she nurtured and encouraged me to become the best I could be no matter what I chose to do or become. These are my earliest memories of the black family unit. I still hold them near and dear to my heart. I wanted my life to be just like my mom and dad’s. Sure, I want more materials positions then their modest lifestyle would allow at the time. However, the love that I saw radiating from the beautiful wives and strong husbands in my family was exactly what I knew I needed for my own life once I was old enough to be considered a man. Now as an adult I am often discouraged and saddened by the state of

 black relationships. At 32 years of age, I have already been married and divorced, a fact that I am not proud of at all.  There is a civil war going on between our black men and women.  Somewhere along the road to more opportunity and freedom we have turned against each other. What could have brought us to this? Has the equal rights and the integration into main stream America; that our parents fought for, become the very thing that has destroyed the love for one another that their fight was meant to protect and strengthen? Our men are now killing each other in numbers that would make the Clan and other anti black groups of their time applaud. Our women are being left to take on the roles of providers and nurtures. Which in turn leads many of them to feel that a man is no longer necessary in the raising and supporting of the family? Yes there is a war going on! Sadly the casualties of this war are our children, our families, and our communities.  Men that have been raised to be men are looked upon as old school chauvinist. Generations of women rose to take care of their families independent of those men lead to outrageous divorce rates and the break down of the family structure as we once knew it. This cycle is tearing us apart and it seems to only be getting worst. What happened to such a strong proud race of people that now has us in constant conflict with each other? It seems that our evolution has forced us to trade the values and love for each other, for the material possessions that we so longed for when all we had was each other.  We traded the education of a few for the miseducation and poverty of the masses without thinking to reach back and bring our less fortunate brothers and sisters with us. We adopted not only the freedom of the masses we also adopted there bias’s and disdain for our own kind. We fought for integration in return we segregated ourselves from each other in our own communities’ based on those who have vs. those who have not.  Why is it that we can no longer stomach the fact that we need each other? Women boasting that they don’t need a Man and Men echoing the same sentiments. The masses have used our ambition to divide, conquer, and control us and it seems we have become too educated in their ways to truly see it. Some may feel we are winning. However, I disagree. How can I win when my brothers and sister are living in poverty? How can win when the foundation of our community, the black man and the black women, are in a constant conflict with each other? So much so that one feels that they have no need for the other. How can we win if our elderly; the very ones who cut the path for the freedoms we enjoy today, are being cast away and forgotten? Let’s pause for a second and really think about what is happening to us.  We have bought into the same stereotypes about ourselves that our forefathers fought so hard to eradicate just a few years ago. Black men are lazy, criminals that have no sense of family and responsibility. While it's said our women are too materialistic, optioned, and strong minded to make good wives. Who created these stereo types?? At this point it really doesn’t matter. We buy into the propaganda and really believe these lies about our own people to be true. This miseducation is the thread of division that is and will continue to keep us from living the dream that Dr. King and the other civil rights leaders of his time fought so hard to make a reality. We are descendant's of the strongest and first people on the earth yet we treat each other worst than any other group has to date. Let’s come together. We need each other, our children need us, and our community will soon be extinct if we don’t wake up and see what's really going on…

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